URBAN LEGENDS ABOUT GETTING MURDERED BY HITCHHIKERS EXIST BECAUSE 82% OF ALL HITCHHIKERS ARE BEARS

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They murder because they lack thumbs to hitch with, which fills them with rage because nobody ever picks them up.

BEARS WILL STRIP DOWN YOUR CAR AND SELL IT FOR PARTS – IT’S MORE VALUABLE THAT WAY.

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Bear Traffic Disciple Laurel sends this alarming photo in asking, “What’s next?  Murder?!”

You can join Laurel in the fight against traffic congestion caused by bears by submitting your photos.  Check the submission rules if you’re not sure what counts.

Also, this is your friendly reminder that you can follow Bear Traffic on twitter to know when new stories are posted plus bonus facts about bears & traffic.

BEARS ASKING FOR DIRECTIONS WILL HOLD UP TRAFFIC FOR 10+ MINUTES PER TURNS IN DIRECTIONS.

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“So, we go straight until we get to the Whole Foods, then we go right?”

NOWHERE TO PARK AT SIX FLAGS? IT’S BEARS.

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This is why the line for go karts is always so freakin’ long.

BEARS OVER 16 ARE NOT BOUND BY THE SEATBELT LAW AND ARE THEREFORE PRONE TO JOYRIDING.

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“Hey guys let’s cruise by the Girl’s College and rev the engine!  Chicks are totally into the sound of engines revving.”

TRAFFIC TO THE BEACH IS A NIGHTMARE BECAUSE OF BEARS AND THEIR CONVERTIBLES.

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“I am going to get such a killer tan.  Chicks will be like, ‘Daaaaaamn, that bear is taaaaaaaan!’”

YOU CANNOT GET A CAB BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL FULL OF BEARS.

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